Forgiveness does not excuse what happened, but it can help release the physical burden of resentment, stress, and anger.
Forgiveness is usually talked about as a spiritual or emotional issue. And it is both of those things.
But forgiveness is not only about the heart in the figurative sense. It can also affect the body.
When we hold on to resentment, anger, bitterness, or the need to replay what happened again and again, the hurt does not stay neatly contained in our thoughts. It can follow us into our sleep, our mood, our energy, our work, our relationships, and even our physical well-being.
That does not mean forgiveness is easy. It does not mean the hurt was small. And it certainly does not mean pretending something wrong was acceptable.
But it does mean this: sometimes forgiveness is not only something we offer. It’s also something we need.
Forgiveness is not pretending it didn’t matter
One reason people may resist forgiveness is because they misunderstand what it requires.
Forgiveness is not denial. It’s not calling evil good. It’s not excusing betrayal, abuse, cruelty, dishonesty, neglect, or carelessness. It’s not deciding the consequences no longer matter.
Forgiveness also does not automatically mean reconciliation. A relationship may be restored, but it may not be. Trust may be rebuilt, but only when there is honesty, repentance, changed behavior, and time. In some situations, distance and boundaries are not only reasonable; they are necessary.
That distinction matters.
Forgiveness is about releasing the grip of resentment. Reconciliation is about rebuilding relationship. Those are related, but they are not the same thing.
You can forgive someone and still tell the truth, maintain boundaries, and even decide that a relationship cannot safely return to what it once was.
Forgiveness does not erase the past. But it may keep the past from continuing to control your present.
The body keeps score of resentment
Most of us know what it feels like to carry unresolved anger.
You think you are finished with the conversation, but it keeps playing in your mind. You are trying to sleep, but your body is tense. You hear a name, see an email, or remember a moment, and suddenly the old frustration rises again.
The original injury may be over, but your body can still react as if the threat is active.
That’s one reason forgiveness can have physical benefits. The connection is not magic. It’s stress.
Chronic anger and resentment can keep the body in a heightened state. When we repeatedly rehearse a hurt, we may be activating the same stress response over and over. Over time, that can affect how we sleep, how we think, how we interact with others, and how much tension we carry.
This doesn’t mean resentment causes every health problem or is a cure for illness. It doesn’t replace medical care, counseling, wise advice, or necessary protection.
But it does suggest that holding on to bitterness has a cost.
Mayo Clinic notes that forgiveness may be connected with less anxiety, stress, and hostility; fewer symptoms of depression; lower blood pressure; improved heart health; and stronger relationships. Johns Hopkins Medicine also points to research linking forgiveness with reduced stress and possible benefits for sleep, pain, blood pressure, and heart health.
The key word is “may.” Forgiveness is not a formula. But it can be one meaningful part of caring for the body, mind, and spirit.
Forgiveness can reduce the burden you carry
When someone wounds us, our attention often stays fixed on the person who did the harm.
What they said.
What they did.
What they should have done.
What they never admitted.
What they never apologized for.
Those things may be true. But if we are not careful, the injury keeps taking more from us long after the moment has passed.
Resentment can become a second burden.
The first burden is what happened. The second is the daily weight of carrying it.
Forgiveness does not remove every consequence, make grief disappear, or mean memory is wiped clean. But forgiveness can reduce the need to keep reliving the wound as if rehearsing it will finally make it right.
It usually will not.
Some wrongs will never be fully corrected in this life. Some apologies will never come. Some people will never understand the damage they caused.
Forgiveness is not saying that’s acceptable. It’s saying, “This does not get to keep owning me.”
That release can matter physically because the body was never designed to live indefinitely under the pressure of unresolved anger.
A real-life example of forgiveness and health
An Epoch Times article by Makai Elías Calles tells the story of Lyndon Harris, an Episcopal priest who served at St. Paul’s Chapel in New York City after 9/11. According to the article, Harris’s life and health were deeply affected by that season. He lost his home, his marriage, and suffered from PTSD, depression, and lung damage.
His story should not be treated as medical research. It’s not proof that forgiveness cures disease. But it is a powerful human example of how trauma, loss, resentment, and healing are often connected in real life.
That is where this topic becomes more than theory.
Forgiveness is not an abstract idea when someone has truly lost something. It becomes deeply personal. It becomes a question of how much more the wound will be allowed to take.
Forgiveness is often a process
Some forgiveness happens quickly. Much of it does not.
You may make the decision to forgive before your emotions catch up. You may release the anger today and find it rising again next month. You may need to forgive the same wound more than once as memories return or consequences continue.
That does not mean you failed. It means you are human.
A practical first step is to be honest about what happened without exaggerating it or minimizing it.
Name the wound. Name what it has cost you. Name what you are still carrying.
Then ask what one small act of release might look like today.
It may be deciding not to replay the conversation one more time. It may be writing down what happened and what you are choosing to release. It may be praying for the strength to stop feeding resentment. It may be talking with a counselor, pastor, or trusted friend. It may be establishing a boundary you should have set long ago.
Forgiveness does not always begin with a grand emotional moment. Sometimes it begins with the quiet decision to stop handing the past another day.
A Christian view of forgiveness
From a Christian perspective, forgiveness matters because people matter, truth matters, and the condition of our hearts matters.
But faith does not require us to be dishonest about pain. God does not ask us to pretend wrong was right. He does not ask us to stay in harmful situations in order to prove we are forgiving.
Faith gives us a place to bring the hurt honestly. It gives us a way to release bitterness without denying justice. It reminds us that our wounds are real, but they do not have to become our identity.
That is part of why I discuss forgiveness at length in my book, Finding Joy in the Morning (available in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook). Joy and forgiveness are often connected—not because pain disappears, but because bitterness does not have to have the final word.
Letting go is not weakness
Forgiveness is not weakness. In many cases, it takes more strength to forgive than to stay angry.
Anger can feel powerful for a while. Resentment can feel protective. Bitterness can feel justified. But over time, those things can become exhausting.
Forgiveness does not change what happened. It does not guarantee the other person will change. It does not promise an immediate improvement in your health or relationships.
But it can change what the hurt is still allowed to do in you.
If this is a topic you are wrestling with, I’ll be discussing forgiveness as one of the segments in Episode 23 of the Christian Almanac podcast, scheduled to drop on July 30, 2026.
You can find Christian Almanac episodes at www.ChristianAlmanac.com/podcast.
Leave A Comment