It’s simple: Don’t be a charity case

When Jonny Cattani interviewed John Crossman on The Investor Relations Real Estate Podcast, they didn’t talk about real estate. But their conversation had some powerful takeaways that anyone can benefit from, no matter what their profession or stage of life is.

Crossman is the author of Career Killers/Career Builders: The Book Every Millennial Needs to Read! Cattani, a Millennial, asked Crossman, a GenXer, what inspired him to write a book targeted to that often-maligned generation.

Crossman’s answer was thoughtful, revealing, and worth hearing (scroll down for the link), but I’m going to skip forward and share one of the strongest gems from the show.

In speaking about career-building strategies, Crossman addressed the subject of mentors. Mentoring has been around for more than 3,000 years, but it began gaining traction in the contemporary business world in the 1990s. Crossman set aside the traditional view of mentoring (a senior person who gives advice and guidance to a junior person) and began talking about charity.

What’s charity got to do with mentoring? Crossman explained, “Charity is giving without receiving. We give without expecting anything back. It’s one-sided.”

But then he moved to relationships, explaining that healthy relationships are built on giving and receiving, yin and yang.

And that's when he got to the punch line: When you’re advancing your career, do you want your connection with your mentors to be a charity-relationship or a relationship-relationship?

John Crossman

“Sometimes people say, ‘I want a senior person to pour into me and I’m just going to take that and go do my thing.’ That will work for a little bit, but it won’t last. If you see a senior person and you think, ‘I want them to pour into me,” then you want to find ways to pour into them. That will last forever,” Crossman said.

So what can someone younger, less-experienced, and less-connected do for that senior person? Crossman had a list of suggestions:

Write a handwritten note expressing gratitude, offering encouragement, or sharing a piece of information.
Actively connect with the person and their company on social media, and leave positive comments and reviews.
Notice what they’ve done in the community and let them know you appreciate it, even if you’re not a direct beneficiary.
Congratulate them on their achievements.
Remember their birthday or anniversary with a card or note.
Be supportive if they’re having difficulties—don’t disappear when a mentor is going through a tough time.
Ask if you can cut their grass over the weekend. (I think he was joking about that, but maybe not.)

None of these things takes a lot of time, costs a significant amount of money, or requires an expansive network, but they have a powerful impact that can last a lifetime.

This is just a small bite of what Crossman shared with Cattani. Get the full meal by listening to the podcast.

Spotify link: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7nc96NVBFN17hdYgXqPfby

For more information about Career Killers/Career Builders and to connect with John Crossman, visit Crossman Career Builders.

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Jacquelyn Lynn

Jacquelyn Lynn is an inspirational author, ghostwriter, and self-publishing consultant whose credits include more than 45 books, 3,000+ magazine articles, ebooks, blogs, white papers, and more.

Jacquelyn's latest book is Christian Business Almanac, scheduled for release in summer 2024.
She is the author of the novel Choices (A Joyful Cup Story) as well as the nonfiction books The Simple Facts About Self-Publishing, Words to Work By: 31 devotions for the workplace based on the Book of Proverbs and Finding Joy in the Morning: You can make it through the night. With her husband, she is the co-creator of several coloring books for adults.

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