Many people keep prayer journals.
They write down the people and situations they’re praying for, perhaps make notes about what they prayed, and later record what happened. The act of writing helps them become more intentional about prayer and more aware of what God is doing.
That got me thinking: What if we kept a compliment journal?
Not forever. Maybe just for a week or two.
And not because we need another notebook to maintain or another habit to track.
The point would be to train ourselves to notice what is good in the people around us—and then actually say something about it.
We don’t always say what we notice
Most of us probably have more positive thoughts about other people than we ever express.
We notice that someone did a good job.
We appreciate the way a friend handled a difficult situation.
We’re grateful that a coworker is dependable.
We admire someone’s patience.
We think our spouse looks especially nice.
And then we move on without saying anything.
Sometimes we assume the other person already knows. Sometimes we’re distracted. Sometimes the moment passes before it occurs to us that we could have said something.
A compliment journal could help change that.
For a week or two, simply write down the compliments you give. Record the person and, briefly, what you said.
That’s all.
The purpose isn’t to see how many compliments you can accumulate. It’s to make yourself more conscious of opportunities to encourage people.
Look beyond the obvious
As you keep your journal, pay attention to what you’re complimenting.
There’s nothing wrong with telling someone you like their haircut, their clothes, or the way they decorated a room. Those compliments can brighten someone’s day.
But there’s so much more we can notice.
Maybe someone stayed calm when things went wrong.
Maybe they went out of their way to help another person.
Maybe they handled an awkward situation graciously.
Maybe they consistently do their job well, even though nobody seems to notice.
Those are things worth saying out loud.
A compliment can be as simple as, “You handled that really well,” or “I appreciate how patient you were.”
You don’t need an elaborate speech. You just need to notice—and say it.
Compliment people you don’t know, too
The people closest to us aren’t the only ones who deserve encouragement.
Think about the people you interact with briefly throughout an ordinary day.
Suppose you’re in a store and see an employee remain calm and professional while dealing with a difficult customer. When it’s your turn, you might simply say, “You handled that very well.”
Or perhaps someone at a restaurant, office, hotel, repair shop, or customer service desk is especially helpful or kind. Tell them you noticed.
Sometimes a compliment from a stranger can be especially encouraging because it’s completely unexpected.
And sometimes you can take it a step further. If an employee has been especially helpful or handled a difficult situation well, tell the manager. A few sincere words of praise may matter more than you realize.
Compliments and flattery aren’t the same thing
There is an important caution here.
A compliment should be true.
This isn’t about finding something nice to say whether you mean it or not. And it certainly isn’t about flattering people to get something from them.
Flattery is often exaggerated, insincere, or self-serving.
A genuine compliment recognizes something real and communicates it.
That distinction matters.
Scripture repeatedly encourages us to build one another up. First Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV) says, “Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing.”
Encouragement doesn’t have to be dramatic. Sometimes it’s simply letting another person know that something good about them was seen.
Don’t keep score
There’s one thing I wouldn’t put in a compliment journal: how the person responded.
You’re not conducting an experiment to see whether complimenting people makes them like you more.
You’re not keeping score.
And you’re not looking for something in return.
This exercise is about changing your habits—what you notice and what you choose to say.
After a week or two, look back at what you’ve written.
Are there people you compliment often and others you tend to overlook?
You may also discover that you readily notice certain people while barely seeing others—and that may be worth paying attention to.
Are you becoming more aware of things worth acknowledging?
Are you saying positive things that you might once have thought but left unsaid?
Then you may not need the journal anymore.
We use journals because writing something down can help us pay attention to it.
And perhaps encouragement deserves that kind of attention.
Try keeping a compliment journal for a week or two.
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