One of the hardest things most of us have to learn is this:
No is a complete sentence.
When we understand and apply this to our lives, we increase our productivity and reduce our negative stress.
You don’t need to apologize or offer excuses when you say no. Nancy Reagan nailed it in her “just say no” campaign.
Yes, I’m aware that she was talking about drugs — I’m expanding that to cover anything you can’t, don’t want to or just shouldn't do. When you say no to those things, you are able to be more productive with the things that you can, want to and should do. And you'll feel less stressed.
If you feel like a simple “no” is too abrupt, you can soften it; just be sure your message is clear and not open to debate:
“No, thank you.”
“No, but it’s sweet of you to offer.”
“No, but I appreciate the opportunity.”
It’s not necessary to give a reason when you say no. You can if you want to, but it’s likely to open up a dialog that will create pressure on you to change your answer. Of course, if you really want to say yes but circumstances just aren’t right at the moment, you should say so.
“No, we’re going to be out of town that weekend. Could we do it another time?”
“No, my volunteer schedule is full right now, but when my term on this committee ends in six months, I could take something new on.”
Never say:
“I wish I could, but …” unless you really wish you could.
“I’d like to, but …” unless you’d really like to and you’re looking for assistance in figuring out a way to do it.
“I’m not qualified” or “I couldn't do the job justice” unless you can suggest another resource or you want to be told why you are qualified or can do the job.
Finally, never say yes when what you should and really want to say is no. It’s far better to say no in the first place than to say yes and be resentful, do the job poorly or don’t do it at all.
Remember, no is a complete sentence. Try it — it's one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself.
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Jacquelyn's latest book is Christian Business Almanac: The Ultimate Daily Guide for Kingdom-Driven Entrepreneurs and Leaders.
She is the author of the nonfiction books Simple Facts About Self-Publishing (Second Edition), Words to Work By: 31 devotions for the workplace based on the Book of Proverbs and Finding Joy in the Morning: You can make it through the night as well as the novel Choices (A Joyful Cup Story). With her husband, she is the co-creator of several coloring books for adults and the novelty My Book About series.
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